Amaze me

We've got to stop using 'amazing' to describe everything from childbirth to a studded belt. And by 'we' I mean you, because I don't do it. I do overuse 'awesome,' however, which started as an ironic throwback to my 80s childhood and remained constant mostly out of vocabularic laziness, so in truth I have no leg to stand on regarding the other 'a' word, but I don't care. Because 'amazing' is more annoying, as are the people who use it. They are the same people who own their own yoga mat bags and buy $30 'eco-friendly' shampoos. You know who you are: financially-solvent (is there any other kind?) hipsters.

Rich, liberally-educated white kids: put your parents' hard-spent cash to use, and deploy those overprepped brains in the service of something important: start looking around for synonyms. There are lots to choose from, all of which carry the same general sense of overstatement of greatness, but that's where we are as as society anyway: nothing can be just 'fine,' or 'good,' or 'acceptable;' employment of such lowballing adjectives smacks somehow of settling, and Americans don't do that. So let's starting making more of an effort to spread the love! 'Cool,' 'great,' 'fantastic,' 'wicked,' 'smart,' 'mental,' 'excellent,' 'very fine,' super' and 'edifying' are all patiently awaiting your attention. Allow 'amazing' to fade away quietly, and one day it too will return to its rightful place amongst underused overstatements, and you'll be the first oldie at the senior living facility to refer to your 'amazing new walker.' Until then: unmaze me.

Back on the Market

I've had it with my job. I'm older than half of my 'superiors,' smarter than 80% and capable of more than scheduling conference calls, taking minutes on those calls and getting yelled at because the agenda that it's not even my job to send out didn't go out in time. So nine months after my last job search began I'm back on the career sites, sometimes feeling the ephemeral and usually misleading excitement of finding a position that seems to fit my qualifications (and doesn't feature the words 'administrative' or 'assistant'), but mostly the familiar dull sense of 'is this all there is' - a job is a job and even if it's something I'm good at, at the end of the day it's likely I'll get fed up and jump ship. Again. Some more.

But in the meantime I'm at least having fun with it. Since I don't have the immediate desperation usually present in my work quests, I can afford to take risks, applying for positions I'll never get and sending the most audacious cover letters that aim to at the very least put a bemused smile on the face of the reader. Having been in the position of reading these mostly pointless documents on more than one occasion, I can attest that a well-written cover, even or especially from a totally unqualified applicant, is much appreciated.

And maybe it will work. But more than likely I'll ditch the the current dead-end with no immediate prospects and spend the next few months trying to persuade a family member to pay for professional school, because this time I'm serious, this time I'm really going to use that degree/certificate/training. Honest.