Amaze me

We've got to stop using 'amazing' to describe everything from childbirth to a studded belt. And by 'we' I mean you, because I don't do it. I do overuse 'awesome,' however, which started as an ironic throwback to my 80s childhood and remained constant mostly out of vocabularic laziness, so in truth I have no leg to stand on regarding the other 'a' word, but I don't care. Because 'amazing' is more annoying, as are the people who use it. They are the same people who own their own yoga mat bags and buy $30 'eco-friendly' shampoos. You know who you are: financially-solvent (is there any other kind?) hipsters.

Rich, liberally-educated white kids: put your parents' hard-spent cash to use, and deploy those overprepped brains in the service of something important: start looking around for synonyms. There are lots to choose from, all of which carry the same general sense of overstatement of greatness, but that's where we are as as society anyway: nothing can be just 'fine,' or 'good,' or 'acceptable;' employment of such lowballing adjectives smacks somehow of settling, and Americans don't do that. So let's starting making more of an effort to spread the love! 'Cool,' 'great,' 'fantastic,' 'wicked,' 'smart,' 'mental,' 'excellent,' 'very fine,' super' and 'edifying' are all patiently awaiting your attention. Allow 'amazing' to fade away quietly, and one day it too will return to its rightful place amongst underused overstatements, and you'll be the first oldie at the senior living facility to refer to your 'amazing new walker.' Until then: unmaze me.