Monday, September 8, 2008

Preparation

I've heard people say that you should prepare for the life you want to live. Unsure what that means, I've decided to figure out what life I am preparing for now, and see if there's anything else I think I should be doing.

I seem to be preparing for the life of someone with healthy teeth, gums and bones, moderate strength, endurance and flexibility, no children, and a lifelong dependence on prescription nasal spray. So far this is okay with me. I'm also preparing for the life of a financially independent person by saving for retirement and not buying anything until I can afford it. So far I haven't prepared to be a homeowner, aside from maintaining good credit, but I think that's because if I own a home I want to really love it and so far that opportunity hasn't presented itself. So I'm preparing to be someone who commits to her home. I can usually move in one large car, although I've recently got a nice mattress that I might want to take with me next time I go. In this way I seem to prepare myself to jump ship at a moment's notice; this is not a preparation for a settled life. I have not 'invested' in anything, aside from my IRA - not jewelry, not a good suit, not a great pair of jeans or boots or even a digital camera. I found that when my hard drive died I was sad to have lost some of the songs I'd downloaded and some of the photos, but not too sad.

I've been through therapy and am still working on things, but I am useless in relationships because I try so hard to never cause any problems and to just accept everything. Or I go out with people I don't really like and treat them however I want. So far I am still in the early preparation mode for a successful relationship.

So I'm preparing for a life of good health, few attachments and the possibility of eventual commitment to a place, and even further eventually to a person. I could be making more of an effort in my professional area, but nobody's perfect.

Except my grandma.

No comments: