To drug or not to drug

Until now I've avoided anti-depressants, because I thought I could just deal with my general dislike of human life, my own included. But it's becoming more and more obvious to me that I can't. I do all of the things I am supposed to - work out, drink lots of water, drink green tea, eat fish and flax, get sunshine, volunteer, do tai chi, lay off the alcohol and caffeine. The only things I do look forward to are my meals, and especially my desserts, and I am not giving up my last real vice. While I'm sure I would feel worse if I didn't take care of myself in these ways, I still find it hard to think about anything I like or look forward to. I choose to not see people or make new friends. I think that this is not normal in someone my age who has not had a recent traumatic event.

So. Drugs. They might take away what makes me me. But that's why psychotics don't take their meds, so I guess we'll see.